Ever played or watched polo? You know, the frightfully civilized game of the rich and famous…lots of deeply tanned, god-like, glamorous people, girls daintily treading divots in their Ferragamos, drinking Pimms and Veuve whilst the chaps gallop up and down on a succession of terribly expensive ponies whacking a little white ball. Yes, that’s it…polo.
If so, good for you – can I borrow your private jet sometime?
If not, all is not lost. I’ve found a slightly cheaper alternative. Elephant polo. The dress code is much more relaxed (trust me you don’t want to go anywhere near an elephant polo field wearing expensive shoes – the divots you’ll find there are best avoided or you’ll find yourself up to your knees in a pile of something unmentionable). The ball is a common soccer ball and the mallets are about 5 meters long and bendy and about as easy to use as a golf club made out of drinking straws and a bowling ball.
You have an elephant driver on board with you (a bit like a Melbourne taxi driver in that he’ll go pretty much the opposite direction to the one you want no matter how loud you scream, shout and point) and the pace is much slower. In fact it’s possible to have an afternoon nap and read the first three chapters of War and Peace in the time it takes for the elephant to reach the ball.
Apart from that, it’s every bit as exciting as the real thing and I don’t think I have ever laughed so much as when I was on the back of that elephant. It’s not a game for the feint hearted – 6 elephants heading for the same soccer ball can be a little intimidating – not to mention the risk of 6 complete idiots trying to master the use of a 5 meter bendy mallet without falling off. On the plus side, falling off is harder than you think and can be less painful than anticipated if you’re lucky enough to land in one of the aforementioned ‘divots’.
Add to the mix the magic of a ride through the hills to the sound of a distant flute on the way to the polo field and the fanfare of a full marching band when you arrive and I guarantee you one of the most memorable sporting experiences of your life.
Who needs to be a millionaire when you can simply hop on the back of your elephant daahhhling.
There's a Group in my Suitcase! 